Letting the tears flow
by Izzy713
Summary: This is what i thought Cam's funeral would look like i was SUPER sad when he killed himself and it was sad that Maya didnt cry so i had to write this i cryed while writing it and watching the episode R.I.P Cambell Saunders i love you so sad you died


I dress up in all black Katie told me that was how you were supposed to dress like that to show your greving i had only been to one furneral in my life and it was when i was six years old and my great-grandmother died i never imagined myself going to one at 15 for my boyfriend. I sit there on the car ride thinking about Cam and how funny he was i remember the sleepover we had it seemed like forever ago i put in my headphones and listen to the video he left me that morning my eyes fill with tears but i wont let them escape my eyes i promised i wouldnt cry. We pull up to where they had it, it was at a church which i didnt find very apropriate for the situation becuase it was a sin to comit succide just thinking about that sentence with the words succide and Cam in the same sentence is like swallowing venom. Me and my whole family go and take our seats i can see Cam's mom and dad they were both crying i look up to the front of the room there was a cascit i could barely see what was inside but i knew it was Cam agian my eyes filled with tears yet i still didnt let them escape. The ceromony starts and a paster starts to speek but i tune him out just humming the song me and Cam sang at Little Ms Steaks i start to play with the bracelet that he gave me it only had two charms on it one was a music note to represent the passion i had for music and the other was a cloud it represented the song i sang about him in battle of the bands. I come out of my daze when i hear my name. I stand up and walk to the front of the room i look and see alot of eyes looking up at me most are full of tears and i begin.

"Cam he was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first love. It was so unfair how he left the Earth but it wasnt just unfair the way he died it was that when he died so did I a part of me died that day in Simsons office when i heard that he was gone i just couldnt belive it. There are so many things that i am going to miss about Cam the way he laughed, the way he made me laugh, his smile, his eyes, his lips, they way he made me feal when i was around him, his hair, his cloths, every moment we ever spent together, i will miss all that and more it is really hard to have to wake up every day and have to miss the way his arms fealt around me when he hugged me, the way his lips fealt when he kissed me, even just hearing his voice"

i pull out Hoot

"This is my owl Hoot outside my family Cam was the only person who knew about him i brought him here today becase when i went camp and i was scared to stay over night i had him with me he was there for me to protect me and make me feal safe that is why today i am going to put Hoot into that cascit so he can stay will Cam forever i know i will miss him but Cam needs him now."

I walk over and put my hand on top of his it is cold and lifeless i lay hoot down next to him i bend over and wisper into his ear somthing that only he can hear "I love you Cam" i kiss the top of his forehead and the tears well up in my eyes and this time i let them fall.

After the service Cam's mom comes over and talks to me "Maya that was a great speach"

"Thank you i am so sorry"

"And the same to you i found somthing in Cam's room it was adressed to you" i look down at the box she hands me it is small but not really small on the top it is written in very neat handwriting that i can only reconze as Cam's it says Maya.

When we get home i go into my room i sit in my bed and read the note

"Dear Maya

I know when you read this i will be gone i want to apoligize for that becuase i dont want you to be sad becuase for the longest time i was sad and becuase you were the only thing in my sad life i want you have all of thies things that i left for you

I look down inside and i find the pictures that we took at the photobooth and his hockey jersey folded up all nice when i remove those things i find some charms i continue to read the letter

"I left you those things becuase i hope that is will make you remember me better on those days when you cant remember what i looked like or smelled like or even sounded like all of the charms i got becuase i knew i wouldnt be able to last longer and i felt bad that i never gave you more like i promised so i did some last minitue shoping. The eiffle tower is to remind you how we meet in French class, the microphone is to remind you of our charoke at Little Ms Steaks, the camera is to remember the pictures we took, the lips are to remember that you were my first kiss and i was yours, the hockey puck was becuase even if i hated it i played hockey, the rose is for the big giant beauqe of flowers i brought you pink roses, the butterfly is for the butterflys i get when im around you, the owl is to be your Hoot on the go he will always be there for you whenever you need him, the heart is for my un-dieing love i have for you, and the C is to remember me as a person how i was not how i left i want you to remember all the good moments once agian i love you and im sorry

All my Love Cam.

I put on all the charms and hold it close to my chest and once agian i let the tears flow


End file.
